Playstation Problems
by Sunset Moth
Summary: SI story, journal form What if...the SI dies and the Playstation is forced to take over? Features Insane!Suicidal!Playstation and Sadistic!SI. Maybe a oneshot. Maybe not.


Playstation Problems  
Gide Thomas

Disclaimer: I don't own FF9. Seriously. I mean, I don't even own a copy of the game! And the playstation? I don't own one too. This is probably why the events are messed up. Please do not "shove" this fact to my face. And now I'm talking like the PS… Oh _dear._

* * *

Entry no. 001 

It was supposed to be easy; all you had to do was pick some random "lame-assed" child no one really cares about, bring her into a Final Fantasy world and get admired by your Playstation peers.

Nobody tells you about what _might_ happen to the kid once she gets there. I mean, how was I supposed to know that the kid had cancer? She died while moving through dimensions.

It sucks to be a Playstation.

So now I'm "stuck" inside the kid's body. I do not know how I got into this mess; all I know is: the kid has my playstation abilities. And the only way to get them back is by finishing the Final Fantasy game.

I think the Higher Ups are displeased with me. I believe it is because I am not taking life seriously. Perhaps this is their way of saying "get a life." Or be serious about it anyway.

I managed to convince the monkey and his friends that I was needed in their journey. Having a ten year old body did not help in the slightest. I should have chosen someone older.

We managed to travel through the Evil Forest and the Ice Cavern "no problem." Except for the sleeping part. That was scary. I couldn't even control my own body.

By the time we had arrived in Dali, the kid, Jill, had finally decided on my weapon: a double-headed axe. Does she even know how foolish that was? I mean, how is a ten year old going to carry a double-headed axe?

Signed,

Jackie (my human name)

PS: I am writing this journal while waiting for breakfast. The girl by the counter said it would help me with my issues. I did not understand her.

PPS: I must take a bath soon. These humans stink. I miss my playstation days. They were much simpler.

* * *

Entry no. 002 

The axe is very heavy. I called it Ben. Short for bent. Because I feel that my back will be in that position until the end of this journey.

Jill is still thinking about my _unique_ ability. I hope it is not as strenuous as the axe.

I do not understand human humor.

I fear that I must go to the washroom. I have to let out some bodily fluids. Excuse me.

Signed,

Jackie

* * *

Entry no. 002 (continued) 

I fear that there is no washroom in this damn airship. I had to stop the fluids from coming while the monkey steered the airship hysterically.

I did not participate during the short battle between the Enemy and the PCs (playable characters). The monkey insisted on it. I did not complain. Did I mention that the axe is very heavy?

I hate Jill.

I believe we are being chased by an Enemy fiend with a ridiculously large hat. The small AI managed to get him "off our tail." I think the monkey almost fell. Or was it the child who is not a child? I am not sure. Things happened so fast.

We are nearing Lindblum.

Signed,

Jackie

PS: The AI (Vivi was it? Such odd names these PCs possess) was kind to me. But he talks "funny" sometimes. Perhaps a magical error in his creation?

PPS: I keep switching into past and present tense. Is this a magical error as well? Or electric? I am not sure. Maybe it is because I am supposed to be programmed to act as a child. Was that an error as well? My head aches. I do not understand at all.

* * *

Entry no. 003 

The one who governs Lindblum is oglop-shaped. Or is it an ooglump? I am not sure. I did not really pay attention. This is not uncommon behavior; my playstation-in-training days were spent on hibernate mode.

We ate when we got there. People kept giving me strange looks. Someone asked the monkey if I was his child. As if _that_ is possible.

I am tired. The ride was bumpy. I did not get any sleep.

Jackie

PS: I think Jill has already decided on my powers.

* * *

The last Entry!!! 

I woke up this morning screaming. The monkey told me I had been doing this for three hours before I managed to stop. They could not do anything to help me.

I think it was my powers coming into effect.

I hate this world.

I wish to die. This is why I am participating in the Festival of the Hunt.

I will now leave this on the trash bin. I do not think I have the nerve to burn it even though my human side insists on it. For dramatics, it says.

Signed,

Jackie the Suicidal

* * *

A/N: I'm really sorry if this is short. I think it's because after the Hunt, I barely remember anything. Plus, I didn't actually finish the game. The reason being: 1) I don't own the game or a PS. 2) I only know about the different FF worlds because I watched my cousin play them. I think I was eight when he played FF9. 3) When I finally managed to play the game for a couple of days, the second CD wouldn't work. Curse the Philippines and its love for pirated stuff. 

I know the PS voice changes. Sometimes it talkes like a child, sometimes a robot who hasn't grasped the idea of communication yet. This is because the Playstation has a machine side and a human side. Right now, the machine side is winning but, it does slip and a bit of its humanity appears.

Inspired by Flipped Up Reality (written by Tabansi232. Great story) and Elder Brother (by Tamora Pierce). Thank you.


End file.
